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Fwd: Warning! No one, I repeat, NO ONE should read this email!



> --- Shane Clarke <sac@foolarchy.com> wrote:
> > What color are Zebra stripes exactly? Black or
> > White? 
> 
> Don't say I didn't warn you.....
> 
> 
> There was a zoo in West Virginia which specialized
> in
> exotic animals. For instance, it had a pair of
> albino
> toucans. But one day one of the toucans died, so the
> zoo owner sent his best assistant, Fred, to find
> another. But since the zoo didn't have much money,
> Fred couldn't afford to either fly or take a cruise
> ship to Africa, so he took a rowboat, and rowed
> across
> the Atlantic, row, row, row, row, row. When he got
> to
> Africa he used a machete to hack and slash his way
> through the jungle, hack and slash, hack and slash,
> hack and slash. He came across a clearing where he
> saw
> Tarzan painting stripes on a zebra. 
> 
> Now, whether Tarzan was painting black stripes on a
> white zebra or white stripes on a black zebra is not
> important to the outcome of the story. 
> 
> "Hey Tarzan," Fred said. "Know where I can find an
> albino toucan?" And Tarzan interrupted his work long
> enough to point to a path and say, "Ugh. Five
> miles."
> So Fred made his way down the heavily overgrown
> path,
> hack and slash, hack and slash, hack and slash,
> until
> he found an albino toucan. He caught it and headed
> back, hack and slash, hack and slash, hack and
> slash.
> When he came to the clearing where Tarzan was
> painting
> stripes on the zebra -- and whether he was painting
> black stripes on a white zebra or white stripes on a
> black zebra is not important to the outcome of the
> story -- he said, "Thanks, Tarzan." And Tarzan just
> said "ugh." And Fred continued back to the coast,
> hack
> and slash, hack and slash, hack and slash. Then he
> rowed back across the Atlantic, row, row, row, row,
> row. And he delivered the albino toucan to the zoo. 
> 
> A few years passed, and one day the zoo's pygmy
> giraffe, Zella, died. Fred was now manager of the
> zoo,
> so he sent his son, Fred Jr., to Africa to get
> another. So Fred Jr. took the rowboat across the
> Atlantic, row, row, row, row, row. When he got to
> Africa he used a machete to hack and slash his way
> through the jungle, hack and slash, hack and slash,
> hack and slash. He came across a clearing where he
> saw
> Tarzan painting stripes on a zebra. 
> 
> Now, whether Tarzan was painting black stripes on a
> white zebra or white stripes on a black zebra is not
> important to the outcome of the story. 
> 
> "Hey Tarzan," Fred Jr. said. "Know where I can find
> a
> pygmy giraffe?" And Tarzan interrupted his work long
> enough to point to a path and say, "Ugh. Seven
> miles."
> So Fred Jr. made his way down the heavily overgrown
> path, hack and slash, hack and slash, hack and
> slash,
> until he found a pygmy giraffe. He caught it and
> headed back, hack and slash, hack and slash, hack
> and
> slash. When he came to the clearing where Tarzan was
> painting stripes on the zebra -- and whether he was
> painting black stripes on a white zebra or white
> stripes on a black zebra is not important to the
> outcome of the story -- he said, "Thanks, Tarzan."
> And
> Tarzan just said "ugh." And Fred Jr. continued back
> to
> the coast, hack and slash, hack and slash, hack and
> slash. Then he rowed back across the Atlantic, row,
> row, row, row, row. And he delivered the pygmy
> giraffe
> to the zoo. 
> 
> Some more years passed, and one day the zoo's bald
> gorilla died. These things happen. Fred was still in
> charge, so again he designated Fred Jr. to go to
> Africa to get a new one. And Fred Jr. took the
> rowboat
> across the Atlantic, row, row, row, row, row. When
> he
> got to Africa he used a machete to hack and slash
> his
> way through the jungle, hack and slash, hack and
> slash, hack and slash. He came across a clearing
> where
> he saw Tarzan painting stripes on a zebra. 
> 
> Now, whether Tarzan was painting black stripes on a
> white zebra or white stripes on a black zebra is not
> important to the outcome of the story. 
> 
> "Hey Tarzan," Fred Jr. said. "Know where I can find
> a
> bald gorilla?" And Tarzan interrupted his work long
> enough to point to a path and say, "Ugh. 14 miles."
> So
> Fred Jr. made his way down the heavily overgrown
> path,
> hack and slash, hack and slash, hack and slash,
> until
> he found a bald gorilla. He caught it and headed
> back,
> hack and slash, hack and slash, hack and slash. When
> he came to the clearing where Tarzan was painting
> stripes on the zebra -- and whether he was painting
> black stripes on a white zebra or white stripes on a
> black zebra is not important to the outcome of the
> story -- he said, "Thanks, Tarzan." And Tarzan just
> said "ugh." And Fred Jr. continued back to the
> coast,
> hack and slash, hack and slash, hack and slash. Then
> he rowed back across the Atlantic, row, row, row,
> row,
> row. And he delivered the bald gorilla to the zoo. 
> 
> More years passed. Fred retired and Fred Jr. took
> over. So when the zoo's fabulous two-horned unicorn
> died, Fred Jr. sent his son, Fred III, to go get a
> new
> one. And Fred III took the rowboat across the
> Atlantic, row, row, row, row, row. When he got to
> Africa he used a machete to hack and slash his way
> through the jungle, hack and slash, hack and slash,
> hack and slash. He came across a clearing where he
> saw
> Tarzan painting stripes on a zebra. 
> 
> Now, whether Tarzan was painting black stripes on a
> white zebra or white stripes on a black zebra is not
> important to the outcome of the story. 
> 
> "Hey Tarzan," Fred III said. "Know where I can find
> a
> fabulous two-horned unicorn?" And Tarzan interrupted
> his work long enough to point to a path and say,
> "Ugh.
> 43 miles." So Fred III made his way down the heavily
> overgrown path, hack and slash, hack and slash, hack
> and slash, until he found a fabulous two-horned
> unicorn. He caught it and headed back, hack and
> slash,
> hack and slash, hack and slash. When he came to the
> clearing where Tarzan was painting stripes on the
> zebra -- and whether he was painting black stripes
> on
> a white zebra or white stripes on a black zebra is
> not
> important to the outcome of the story - he said,
> "Thanks, Tarzan." And Tarzan just said "ugh." And
> Fred
> III continued back to the coast, hack and slash,
> hack
> and slash, hack and slash. Then he rowed back across
> the Atlantic, row, row, row, row, row. And he
> delivered the fabulous two-horned unicorn to the
> zoo. 
> 
> Years went by. And one day the zoo's Incredibly Ugly
> Pink Hippopotamus died. Fred III was now running the
> zoo, but he didn't have any children, so he sent his
> wife, Frieda, to go get a new one. And Frieda took
> the
> rowboat across the Atlantic, row, row, row, row,
> row.
> When she got to Africa she used a machete to hack
> and
> slash her way through the jungle, hack and slash,
> hack
> and slash, hack and slash. She came across a
> clearing
> where she saw Tarzan painting stripes on a zebra. 
> 
> Now, whether Tarzan was painting black stripes on a
> white zebra or white stripes on a black zebra is not
> important to the outcome of the story. 
> 
> "Hey Tarzan," Frieda said. "Know where I can find an
> incredibly ugly pink hippopotamus, just as ugly as
> our
> last one?" And Tarzan interrupted his work long
> enough
> to point to a path and say, "Ugh. Three miles." So
> Frieda made her way down the heavily overgrown path,
> hack and slash, hack and slash, hack and slash,
> until
> she found an incredibly ugly pink hippopotamus;
> uglier, if possible, than the one the zoo had had.
> She
> caught it and headed back, hack and slash, hack and
> slash, hack and slash. When she came to the clearing
> where Tarzan was painting stripes on the zebra --
> and
> whether he was painting black stripes on a white
> zebra
> or white stripes on a black zebra is not important
> to
> the outcome of the story -- she said, "Thanks,
> Tarzan." And Tarzan just said "ugh." And Frieda
> continued back to the coast, hack and slash, hack
> and
> slash, hack and slash. Then she rowed back across
> the
> Atlantic, row, row, row, row, row. And she delivered
> the incredibly ugly pink hippopotamus to the zoo. 
> 
> Still more years passed. Fred III and Frieda never
> did
> have any children, But they did have grandchildren.
> So
> when the zoo's famous mile-long snake died, they
> sent
> the grandchildren, Sam, Sally and Clarence, to go
> get
> a new one. They took the rowboat across the
> Atlantic,
> row, row, row, row, row. They used their machetes to
> cut through the jungle, hack and slash, hack and
> slash, hack and slash. And they came to a clearing
> where Tarzan was painting stripes on a zebra. 
> 
> Now, whether Tarzan was painting black stripes on a
> white zebra or white stripes on a black zebra is not
> important to the outcome of the story. 
> 
> But what it does go to show is..... 
> 
> Tarzan stripes forever. 
> 
> 
> -- A2SG, see, now you should have listened to me,
> shouldn't you?
> 
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