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Re: Fwd: Warning! No one, I repeat, NO ONE should read this email!



how does someone have grandchildren without having children?

>> --- Shane Clarke <sac@foolarchy.com> wrote:
>> > What color are Zebra stripes exactly? Black or
>> > White? 
>> 
>> Don't say I didn't warn you.....
>> 
>> 
>> There was a zoo in West Virginia which specialized
>> in
>> exotic animals. For instance, it had a pair of
>> albino
>> toucans. But one day one of the toucans died, so the
>> zoo owner sent his best assistant, Fred, to find
>> another. But since the zoo didn't have much money,
>> Fred couldn't afford to either fly or take a cruise
>> ship to Africa, so he took a rowboat, and rowed
>> across
>> the Atlantic, row, row, row, row, row. When he got
>> to
>> Africa he used a machete to hack and slash his way
>> through the jungle, hack and slash, hack and slash,
>> hack and slash. He came across a clearing where he
>> saw
>> Tarzan painting stripes on a zebra. 
>> 
>> Now, whether Tarzan was painting black stripes on a
>> white zebra or white stripes on a black zebra is not
>> important to the outcome of the story. 
>> 
>> "Hey Tarzan," Fred said. "Know where I can find an
>> albino toucan?" And Tarzan interrupted his work long
>> enough to point to a path and say, "Ugh. Five
>> miles."
>> So Fred made his way down the heavily overgrown
>> path,
>> hack and slash, hack and slash, hack and slash,
>> until
>> he found an albino toucan. He caught it and headed
>> back, hack and slash, hack and slash, hack and
>> slash.
>> When he came to the clearing where Tarzan was
>> painting
>> stripes on the zebra -- and whether he was painting
>> black stripes on a white zebra or white stripes on a
>> black zebra is not important to the outcome of the
>> story -- he said, "Thanks, Tarzan." And Tarzan just
>> said "ugh." And Fred continued back to the coast,
>> hack
>> and slash, hack and slash, hack and slash. Then he
>> rowed back across the Atlantic, row, row, row, row,
>> row. And he delivered the albino toucan to the zoo. 
>> 
>> A few years passed, and one day the zoo's pygmy
>> giraffe, Zella, died. Fred was now manager of the
>> zoo,
>> so he sent his son, Fred Jr., to Africa to get
>> another. So Fred Jr. took the rowboat across the
>> Atlantic, row, row, row, row, row. When he got to
>> Africa he used a machete to hack and slash his way
>> through the jungle, hack and slash, hack and slash,
>> hack and slash. He came across a clearing where he
>> saw
>> Tarzan painting stripes on a zebra. 
>> 
>> Now, whether Tarzan was painting black stripes on a
>> white zebra or white stripes on a black zebra is not
>> important to the outcome of the story. 
>> 
>> "Hey Tarzan," Fred Jr. said. "Know where I can find
>> a
>> pygmy giraffe?" And Tarzan interrupted his work long
>> enough to point to a path and say, "Ugh. Seven
>> miles."
>> So Fred Jr. made his way down the heavily overgrown
>> path, hack and slash, hack and slash, hack and
>> slash,
>> until he found a pygmy giraffe. He caught it and
>> headed back, hack and slash, hack and slash, hack
>> and
>> slash. When he came to the clearing where Tarzan was
>> painting stripes on the zebra -- and whether he was
>> painting black stripes on a white zebra or white
>> stripes on a black zebra is not important to the
>> outcome of the story -- he said, "Thanks, Tarzan."
>> And
>> Tarzan just said "ugh." And Fred Jr. continued back
>> to
>> the coast, hack and slash, hack and slash, hack and
>> slash. Then he rowed back across the Atlantic, row,
>> row, row, row, row. And he delivered the pygmy
>> giraffe
>> to the zoo. 
>> 
>> Some more years passed, and one day the zoo's bald
>> gorilla died. These things happen. Fred was still in
>> charge, so again he designated Fred Jr. to go to
>> Africa to get a new one. And Fred Jr. took the
>> rowboat
>> across the Atlantic, row, row, row, row, row. When
>> he
>> got to Africa he used a machete to hack and slash
>> his
>> way through the jungle, hack and slash, hack and
>> slash, hack and slash. He came across a clearing
>> where
>> he saw Tarzan painting stripes on a zebra. 
>> 
>> Now, whether Tarzan was painting black stripes on a
>> white zebra or white stripes on a black zebra is not
>> important to the outcome of the story. 
>> 
>> "Hey Tarzan," Fred Jr. said. "Know where I can find
>> a
>> bald gorilla?" And Tarzan interrupted his work long
>> enough to point to a path and say, "Ugh. 14 miles."
>> So
>> Fred Jr. made his way down the heavily overgrown
>> path,
>> hack and slash, hack and slash, hack and slash,
>> until
>> he found a bald gorilla. He caught it and headed
>> back,
>> hack and slash, hack and slash, hack and slash. When
>> he came to the clearing where Tarzan was painting
>> stripes on the zebra -- and whether he was painting
>> black stripes on a white zebra or white stripes on a
>> black zebra is not important to the outcome of the
>> story -- he said, "Thanks, Tarzan." And Tarzan just
>> said "ugh." And Fred Jr. continued back to the
>> coast,
>> hack and slash, hack and slash, hack and slash. Then
>> he rowed back across the Atlantic, row, row, row,
>> row,
>> row. And he delivered the bald gorilla to the zoo. 
>> 
>> More years passed. Fred retired and Fred Jr. took
>> over. So when the zoo's fabulous two-horned unicorn
>> died, Fred Jr. sent his son, Fred III, to go get a
>> new
>> one. And Fred III took the rowboat across the
>> Atlantic, row, row, row, row, row. When he got to
>> Africa he used a machete to hack and slash his way
>> through the jungle, hack and slash, hack and slash,
>> hack and slash. He came across a clearing where he
>> saw
>> Tarzan painting stripes on a zebra. 
>> 
>> Now, whether Tarzan was painting black stripes on a
>> white zebra or white stripes on a black zebra is not
>> important to the outcome of the story. 
>> 
>> "Hey Tarzan," Fred III said. "Know where I can find
>> a
>> fabulous two-horned unicorn?" And Tarzan interrupted
>> his work long enough to point to a path and say,
>> "Ugh.
>> 43 miles." So Fred III made his way down the heavily
>> overgrown path, hack and slash, hack and slash, hack
>> and slash, until he found a fabulous two-horned
>> unicorn. He caught it and headed back, hack and
>> slash,
>> hack and slash, hack and slash. When he came to the
>> clearing where Tarzan was painting stripes on the
>> zebra -- and whether he was painting black stripes
>> on
>> a white zebra or white stripes on a black zebra is
>> not
>> important to the outcome of the story - he said,
>> "Thanks, Tarzan." And Tarzan just said "ugh." And
>> Fred
>> III continued back to the coast, hack and slash,
>> hack
>> and slash, hack and slash. Then he rowed back across
>> the Atlantic, row, row, row, row, row. And he
>> delivered the fabulous two-horned unicorn to the
>> zoo. 
>> 
>> Years went by. And one day the zoo's Incredibly Ugly
>> Pink Hippopotamus died. Fred III was now running the
>> zoo, but he didn't have any children, so he sent his
>> wife, Frieda, to go get a new one. And Frieda took
>> the
>> rowboat across the Atlantic, row, row, row, row,
>> row.
>> When she got to Africa she used a machete to hack
>> and
>> slash her way through the jungle, hack and slash,
>> hack
>> and slash, hack and slash. She came across a
>> clearing
>> where she saw Tarzan painting stripes on a zebra. 
>> 
>> Now, whether Tarzan was painting black stripes on a
>> white zebra or white stripes on a black zebra is not
>> important to the outcome of the story. 
>> 
>> "Hey Tarzan," Frieda said. "Know where I can find an
>> incredibly ugly pink hippopotamus, just as ugly as
>> our
>> last one?" And Tarzan interrupted his work long
>> enough
>> to point to a path and say, "Ugh. Three miles." So
>> Frieda made her way down the heavily overgrown path,
>> hack and slash, hack and slash, hack and slash,
>> until
>> she found an incredibly ugly pink hippopotamus;
>> uglier, if possible, than the one the zoo had had.
>> She
>> caught it and headed back, hack and slash, hack and
>> slash, hack and slash. When she came to the clearing
>> where Tarzan was painting stripes on the zebra --
>> and
>> whether he was painting black stripes on a white
>> zebra
>> or white stripes on a black zebra is not important
>> to
>> the outcome of the story -- she said, "Thanks,
>> Tarzan." And Tarzan just said "ugh." And Frieda
>> continued back to the coast, hack and slash, hack
>> and
>> slash, hack and slash. Then she rowed back across
>> the
>> Atlantic, row, row, row, row, row. And she delivered
>> the incredibly ugly pink hippopotamus to the zoo. 
>> 
>> Still more years passed. Fred III and Frieda never
>> did
>> have any children, But they did have grandchildren.
>> So
>> when the zoo's famous mile-long snake died, they
>> sent
>> the grandchildren, Sam, Sally and Clarence, to go
>> get
>> a new one. They took the rowboat across the
>> Atlantic,
>> row, row, row, row, row. They used their machetes to
>> cut through the jungle, hack and slash, hack and
>> slash, hack and slash. And they came to a clearing
>> where Tarzan was painting stripes on a zebra. 
>> 
>> Now, whether Tarzan was painting black stripes on a
>> white zebra or white stripes on a black zebra is not
>> important to the outcome of the story. 
>> 
>> But what it does go to show is..... 
>> 
>> Tarzan stripes forever. 
>> 
>> 
>> -- A2SG, see, now you should have listened to me,
>> shouldn't you?
>> 
>> __________________________________________________
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>> 
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