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[Groop]Re:Arrgghh! (More Off Topic)
Ah, the old show-the-boyfriend-the-shotgun tactic. I have no guns in my
house so that one is out, but I have my subtle little ways of letting the
boys know that making my daughter unhappy is not a good idea. (hee-hee-hee.
swords are a lot more fun than guns)
As for relatives; YOU JUST CAN'T IMAGINE!!!!! My wife's family is like a
bad soap opera and my family is like the Twilight Zone!! As I write this
the house is occupied by (in addition to my wife, daughter, and
mother-in-law) my 20 year old niece, her 5 1/2 year old daughter, and her 5
1/2 month old daughter, all recently arrived from Arkansas where they have
been for the last couple years with the niece's mother (my wife's sister)
who just called us up and told us the convenience store she works at was
robbed at gun point when she was behind the counter so she's been laid off
without pay until she passes a lie detector test to prove it wasn't an
inside job. (It's even money whether she will pass the test. I just want
her to stay in Arkansas.) Also currently in attendence is my 18 year old
niece and her 1 year old, who at least live in there own subsidized
apartment, but spend a lot of time over here, especially around meal times.
At anytime I expect the 18 year old's mother, my wife's other sister, to
show up with her 16 year old son and his 17year old pregnant girl friend
because, after all, it is about dinner time. The 3 of them live in a mobile
home park (the girl friend's mother threw her out of the house) in a mobile
home that would strike you as in rather bad repair if you could see past the
layers of clothes, papers, pizza boxes and other crap that make it hard to
walk around, although generally the smell is limited to the dirty dishes
perpetually piled up in the sink and when you open the refrigerator. My
mother-in-law used to live there until we got her to move in with us. The
18 year old lived there too until she turned 18 and was able to move out,
which was good because it wasn't good for the then newborn to be around a
mother and grandmother (my wife's sister) who were always throwing things at
This is just a capsule of the current situation but perhaps gives you a hint
of what the last 25 years has been like. I can still remember sometime back
in the late 70's when my pregnant wife was working full-time while I was
trying to complete a two year masters program in 14 months and we got a call
at 2:30am from her two drunken sisters who, along with two equally drunken
soldiers, had lost the keys to their car and needed a ride to my mother-laws
apartment. Why oh why didn't I just hang up on them and start a trend?
Maybe things would be different now. At least I have had some great
examples to show my kids what happens to you when you make a never ending
series of stupid decisions. Maybe that's part of the reason they are all
doing so well!
As for my side of the family, well let me put it to you this way: Of the
five of us, I am considered the most normal!?!?!?! That ought to tell you
volumes. Take care all.
-Gary "I think I'll go hide in the shed with a bunch of Groo's and a box of
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Friday, September 29, 2000 5:16 PM
Subject: Re: [Groop]Arrgghh!!!!!!
> Hey, you want to talk about interesting in-laws? The day after
> three years ago (or was it four?) my girlfriend at the time (now my wife)
> went over to her parents house with me. Her father answered the door,
> shotgun first. My girlfriend tried blocking me to protect me. Once he
> who it was, he let us in saying, "oh, you rang just as I was cleaning my
> gun." YEAH RIGHT! Oh, yeah, then he volunteered to teach me how to shoot
> one day by taking me out into the woods one day for "target practice."
> Where's Rufferto when you need him?
Groop maillist - Groop@groo.com