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Re: [Groop]NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE



And "gas", henceforth to be known as petrol, will be oooh... about  $5
per gallon!

"Volker 'V.A.G' Greimann" wrote:

>  > To the citizens of the United States of America, In the
>  > light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and
>  > thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the
>  > revocation of your independence, effective today.
>  > Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume
>  > monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and
>  > other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy.
>  > Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, MP for
>  > the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware
>  > that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a
>  > minister for America without the need for further
>  > elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A
>  > questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine
>  > whether any of you noticed.
>  >
>  > To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency,
>  > the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
>  >
>  > 1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English
>  > Dictionary.
>  > Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation
>  > guide. You will be amazed at just how incorrectly you
>  > have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise
>  > your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up
>  > "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words
>  > interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you
>  > know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of
>  > communication. Look up "interspersed".
>  >
>  > 2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let
>  > Microsoft know on your behalf.
>  >
>  > 3. You should learn to distinguish the English and
>  > Australian accents. It really isn't that hard.
>  >
>  > 4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English
>  > actors as the good guys.
>  >
>  > 5. You should relearn your original national
>  > anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully
>  > carrying out task 1. We would not want you
>  > to get confused and give up half way through.
>  >
>  > 6. You should stop playing American "football". There is
>  > only one kind of football. What you refer to as
>  > American "football" is not a very good game. The
>  > 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world
>  > outside your borders may have noticed that no one else
>  > plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed
>  > to play it, and should instead play proper football.
>  > Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It
>  > is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in
>  > time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to
>  > American "football", but does not involve stopping for a
>  > rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar
>  > body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get
>  > together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.
>  >
>  > 7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using
>  > nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The
>  > 98.85% of you who were not aware that there
>  > is a world outside your borders should count yourselves
>  > lucky. The Russians have never been the bad
>  > guys. "Merde" is French for "shit".
>  >
>  > 8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th
>  > will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will
>  > be called "Indecisive Day".
>  >
>  > 9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap
>  > and it is for your own good.
>  >
>  > 10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us
>  > bonkers for almost forty years.
>  >
>  > Thank you for your cooperation.
>
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