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Darwin Awards

We talked about these before, but I've been reading them at work, and
thought you guys might  get a kick out of some of them.... I've selected
some choice bits..... talk about , "Did I err?"!:


BONN, April 13 (Reuters) - A German camper died from injuries received when
a camp-site toilet exploded as he tried to light
a cigarette, blasting him through a closed window, police said on Monday.

Police in the town of Montabaur south of Bonn said the explosion on
Thursday appeared to have been caused by leaking gas
from the septic tank or a defective natural gas pipe.

(Nate:  I hate it when that happens.)


In the province of Orense in north west Spain, a 39-year-old man was
crushed to death by a rock while pleasuring himself with
a chicken. Although no one is quite sure how it happened, it is thought the
vibrations caused by his love making possibly
dislodged the boulder. The chicken also perished, and was still attached to
the man when his body was found.

(Nate:  That's why I stopped dating chickens.)


I heard this story a about a year ago which took place in Canada,
specifically Ontario I think. Anywise, the just of it was that in
an Inuit village, a young man was searching for a way of getting drunk for
free because he had no money to buy alcohol. So he
mixed gasoline with milk to get his buzz. After he drank it he became ill
and vomited on the fireplace in his house which in turn
ignited his vomit and burned his house down killing him and his sister I
believe. I am not exactly sure how many people besides
him died, but I know he did for sure

(Nate: Let's call it, an Inuit Sizzler.)


MANILA - A World War II bomb dug up by treasure hunters exploded Sunday
when the men pounded on it with a hammer

to try to open it. Five people were killed, officials said. Police said
the men dug up the bomb along with empty bomb shells last
month in the town of Teresa in Rizal province, 22 miles east of Manila. The
men stored the two-foot bomb and shells in a
house. They tried to open the explosive by pounding on it with a hammer,
police and local radio said.

(Nate: At least they didn't use a big rock.... they used somehting high
tech, like a hammer.)


(AP) LOS ANGELES - Police officials would not release the name of a Pacoima
man who was found dead yesterday after
responding to complaints from neighbors that a bad smell was coming from
his apartment. Upon entering the apartment, officers
were surprised to see that every square inch of the apartment, including
appliances and even the inside of the toilet, were
covered with pornographic images cut from magazines.

"The visual effect was very unsettling," said Officer Hradj of the Pacoima
Police. "Because everything looked the same, You
could not tell where one wall ended and a doorway began."

The surprises did not end there, however. Police described the man as
having "concocted a wire-frame around his head" upon
which the man had taped various pornographic images, apparently so he could
freely move about his apartment without ever
losing his close-up view of nude bodies. Small slits had been cut into the
paper so he could find his way, but according to Hradj,
"he had almost no peripheral vision. He could barely see a thing."

The man was found nude with this wire frame entangled in a hanging lamp "We
think he had been dusting," said another police
officer, "because a feather duster was lying nearby, and his head gear had
somehow become caught in the lamp, which was
chained to the ceiling." The man allegedly choked to death trying to
extricate himself from his predicament.

(Nate: Moral: cut bigger eye holes.)


I am a firefighter and EMT. Once several years ago, our company was
dispatched to the scene of a shooting. We were met at
the door by a distraught neighbor stating that the resident had been
threatening to kill himself. Well he didn't succeed. What he
did do was rest the muzzle of a shotgun under his chin and pull the
trigger. His lack of success was his poor aim. The
unfortunate fellow succeeded in blowing his chin, palate, nose and eyes all
over the ceiling. When we got there, he was lying on
his bed with and intact tongue waving in a pool of gore. When I last saw
him, he was on the way to the hospital in good
condition. I heard from the hospital that he survived and is left to
contemplate his stupidity without the means to complete his
act. I don't know if he is fertile or not, but I doubt if he has reproduced
since then.

(Nate: Maybe this could be like that MY LEFT FOOT movie... he can learn to
use his tongue in daily activity.)


Nate Piekos            nate@piekosarts.com