[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index]

german groosim ?

As everyone seems to be on a Germanic slant....
nb:  this is not intended to offend !!


The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
be adopted as the official language of the EU rather than German, which was
to have been the other possibility.

As part of these negotiations Her Majesty's Government conceded that the
rules of English Spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
five year phase-in plan that would be known as Euro-English.

In the first year, the soft 'c' will be replaced.  Sertainly this will make
the sivil servants jump with joy.   The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour
of the more sensible 'k'.  This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan
have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome 'ph' will be replaced by 'f'.  This will make words like
'fotograf' 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage whereby more komplikated changes are made possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double leters which have always ben
a deterent to akurate speling.  Also al wil agre that the horible mes of the
silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yar peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replacing 'th' with 'z
' and 'w' with the more apropriat 'v'.

During ze fifz yar ze unesesary 'o' can be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou'
and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After ziz fifx yar ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl.  Zer vil be no mor
trubl or difikultis and evri vun vil find it ezi tu onderstand ech ozer.
Zen ze drem vil finaly kum tru.